luke: this is the jedi academy, where you can help restore our lost order, dedicate yourself to learning the jedi ways, and help bring light to the galaxy!
cal: also my friend merrin teaches a class on making your very own zombies :D
luke: [DEEP SIGH] also nightsister merrin teaches the zombies class
having executive dysfunction, ADHD and just a complete lack of any conception of the workings and passage of time means that i consistently roll a critical fail in punctuality
me: okay so i have to be there at 9 so i’ll get up at 7, actually get up at 7:30, get off my phone and into the shower at 7:45, finish dressing at 8, stop reading my news feed and make breakfast at 8:15, clean my teeth and leave at 8:30 with 10 minutes extra time to spare if shit goes sideways. there’s no way i can possibly be late.
me, still in my pyjamas in bed, scrolling through twitter at 08:59: motherfucker i did it again
my brain with every passing second drawing towards a rapidly approaching deadline:
my last, chronically overworked, almost entirely nonfunctional brain cell: read @ 11:59 PM ✔️✔️
vader: who tore the warning sign off of this wampa cage??
storm trooper: security footage shows it was removed by a golden protocol droid
vader: LOL
Vader in RotJ: wait the Alderaan princess is my daughter?? don’t know how to feel about that.
Luke: she strangled Jabba the Hutt to death with a chain.
Vader: OH HELL YEAH
why would you hide this in the tags that’s hilarious
i want u guys to know that the university of sussex is constantly graffiti’d with among us crewmates and that the university keep desperately trying to clean it off but some hero with chalk keeps going back for more. the university sign has a permanent stain on the ‘sus’ of sussex
in case you don’t believe me here is photographic evidence
this is an entirely serious institution
people who type lol when theyre mad are the people you have to watch out for theyll fucking stab you in the back in a dark alley and steal your wallet whispering “lol” all passive aggressively into your ear. same goes for “lmao”. Watch out
